I remember when I lost my mind!

I remember, when I was a kid, I loved going to the doctor. I would walk in, "sign" myself in (Mom would actually do all the paper work), and read all the awesome books that were available. When it came time for me to go into the back, I remember always telling momma to stay in the waiting room, because I was a big kid and could do this all alone. She never listened. When we got to the room in the back, I would always sit on the medical bed/table and talk to momma about what was wrong, that way, when the doctor came in, I had my story straighter than a woman hitting the cat with a frying pan. Every time he/she came in to ask me what was wrong, I would start out by saying,"Nothing," but of course that didn't work.

Being the kid of bigness, I had to actually tell the doctor I was sick. I didn't want to, because I could never swallow pills, especially when they got lodged in my throat. So, I would sucker a sucker of the sucker, meaning I would politely ask the kind gentleman-like doctor if I could ever-so-gracefully receive a lollipop from amongst the holy grail of lollipops, in the basket, on the counter, in the waiting room. And just like clock-work, I always got one. Of course, I didn't want one every time. I was growing up, and I didn't always have time for lollipops. My show was waiting on me at home, away from school. Sometimes I tried to help the doctor diagnose me.

One morning, I had a very upset stomach. After moving around in the bed like an earthworm and making "sicky" noises, I got the news that I didn't have to go to school. I was ecstatic, but to the doctor I must. It was alright, but a movie I wanted to see came on soon, so the trip had to be fast. When we got to the doctor's office, it was PACKED. Very little sitting room and coughs abound made the atmosphere about as desirable as that of a pool hall on smokers night. "Man this is going to be a long day," I remember thinking. After a while, I got into the back, but just like everyone who doesn't want to be at the doctor, I had to wait and wait and wait in the back room.

Then the doctor finally came in. I had my story, and I tried to help diagnose. The doctor told me that I was wrong and I had a case of "No-school-itus". I was sent home with a doctor's note for the rest of the day, but I had missed it. My credits were rolling when I turned the boob-tube on. I gave up my day to be at the office I "love". It was a sad day.